Welcome to my blog on ways that I've attempted to heal and cope with the symptoms of depersonalization, derealization, and anxiety. Please note that I am not a mental healthcare professional nor am I qualified or certified to help anyone with mental or physical health problems in any way. So please note the disclaimer that my words should not be taken as professional recommendations or advice, but rather as my sharing of things that I have attempted to do to mitigate my own experience with depersonalization, derealization, and anxiety. I will refer to depersonalization and derealization as DDR for the purposes of this blog. I would also like anyone who reads this to be aware of the fact that anything I write that sounds or appears to be a generalization should not be taken as such. This blog is entirely one of my own experience and should be read as such. Any research that I have done or any thoughts that I have on said research should not be taken as an authority on the subject, but rather ideas that I have come across in my attempt to heal.
My experiences with DDR began around the end of December 2012. So I've been dealing with the feelings for roughly three months at publication of this blog. I have had symptoms of anxiety for the past 6 years, which until recently have remained essentially unchecked and certainly not addressed or dealt with. The physical manifestations of my anxiety revealed themselves through incessant shortness of breath and a tingling sensation in my scalp among other things. However, I intend the primary focus of this blog to be on my experience with DDR mostly due to the fact that there is not a plethora of "feel good" stories on DDR. And while I have certainly not moved past my experience with DDR, I have been able to change my perspective a bit and have at times felt that there is hope for me to live without DDR in my life. In the following posts you will find my musings (which will sometimes be redundant), experiences with, thoughts on, and updates regarding my time with DDR. Please feel free to comment on my posts (I'm not too sensitive) or email me regarding your experiences. Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of DDR is the feeling of isolation I have felt since recognizing the symptoms in my life. It has been nearly impossible to explain it to people in my life and I have even had a difficult time explaining it to my own therapist. It is a challenge for people who do not live with DDR to understand exactly what it is. Although this has made me feel alienated in many ways, it is encouraging because there is a world full of people who are living there lives without this experience. I feel encouraged by this fact because it means to me that this is a problem of perspective, a problem of the mind, and a problem that can be fixed. I have lived most of my life without the incessant symptoms of DDR, which to me means that I can get past this with some work and some time.
I have often felt overwhelmed by the amount of negative information regarding experiences with DDR and I have created this blog with the intention of giving myself hope that my experience with DDR can be overcome and conquered. In doing so I would like to be able to contribute to the web a success story in overcoming DDR and ideally some proof that people can overcome this very painful, confusing, and difficult experience. Please know that despite the fact that almost every fiber of my being feels that my experience with DDR will never pass, I do have hope. I do not know why, but I believe that there is a life of happiness in front of me. I believe also that I can feel like myself again as long as I remain patient, commit myself to the process or healing, and allow myself to have the perspective that my experience with DDR can be an opportunity to learn. I'll close this first post with a quote that I have kept on the home screen of my phone for the past few weeks. Apologies to the person who said this quote, but I did not see an author when I came across this quote. "Sometimes you fall down, because there is something down there that you are supposed to find."
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