Advocate for Yourself

        I am happy to share that I have been feeling much better the last couple of days.  I was prescribed Ativan for anxiety and as I am writing this I have not taken a dose for nearly three days.  This is after close to a month of taking it daily.  I only share this tidbit because my greatest source of anxiety has naturally been the feelings of discomfort toward my symptoms of DP/DR.  To be able to get through the day without the added medication has been an important milestone for me on my road to recovering.
        One thing I have learned this week comes from the feedback my partner gave to me.  She said that she admires how I have advocated for myself since experiencing these symptoms.  The disconnect that I have felt from myself (as I knew it before) as well as the detachment I feel from my environment initially compelled me to withdraw even further into myself and mire in the discomfort and negative thinking.  However, recently I have been taking a more proactive approach to recovering and feeling better.  I cannot stress how important it is to reach out for help in any way you know how.  I think this is important because it both helps form connections with others and subsequently "ground you" and it helps shoulder some of the work we have to do to recover.  No one should be ashamed of these feelings or embarrassed to share them with others.  I have shared my symptoms with my friends, my partner, my parents, my partner's parents and anyone I think should know about it.  I have also shared this with my therapist and sought out the services of a psychiatrist to help me along.  I attend yoga regularly and have started to meditate twice a day for 20 minutes per session.  I have been going to the dog park as frequently as possible.  In one of the self help books I read it says that attitude follows action, meaning that the more you do to try to improve the better you will feel.  I can assure you that this has been the case for me.  Please do not mistake my optimism as my not feeling bad at times or still feeling the DP/DR for most of the day.  This is not the case.  However, the more I have done as far as reaching out for help the less my symptoms have bothered me.
        I have felt hopeless.  I have felt defeated.  I have felt so incredibly overwhelmed with my symptoms that I did not know what to do.  But please remember that these are symptoms.  They do not have to last forever and we can all live fulfilled and enriched lives.  I still have doubts at times, but we can get better and we can overcome any obstacle.  Even the smallest little form of self advocacy can go a long way.  I have never been a "scheduled person," but what I have found is that when I started writing out what I will do every minute of the day I can hold myself accountable for recovery.  It prevents me from sitting around worrying about my symptoms all of the time.  This is not to say that I feel completely integrated when I share my feelings with friends, or when I go to therapy or the dog park.  However, I do know that in order to live the life I want to live I can not retreat within myself.  It does not help.  It is important to remember, what is the worst that could happen?  Really, what is the worst thing?  No matter how uncomfortable we feel we can still live and breathe and advocate for ourselves.  It has worked for me and if you notice the journal entries I have been posting, my symptoms are improving and if not that I am certainly less bothered by them.  Stay strong.  Be hopeful.  Advocate for yourself.  We are all worth it and we can all make ourselves and the world a better than ever.