Create a Plan of Attack

        One of the most troubling things I've found in my experience with depersonalization and derealization is at its worst I have had a tremendous sense of hopelessness for recovery.  And while I am not qualified to make such assertions it was and in many ways still is the way I feel.  Due to the fact that the symptoms are as confusing as they are (oddly enough I think they're more confusing to me than they are to the people I share them with), I am made to feel that this is the way things will always be and perhaps the way things will always be.  Given that I don't want life to feel this way anymore, I am led to believe that the only way past this is through action.  Patience will still remain paramount, but I believe action is imperative to success.  Sitting around ruminating about existence simply will not help me or anyone else recover.  My partner shared some insight with me when she said, "many people think about the things you're wondering about, but the difference is that they don't get anxious about them."  And while her insight is both true and relevant it still doesn't leave me with a clear path of action or attack.
        All of this leads me to believe that we must hold ourselves accountable for action.  It can be the smallest little thing like writing in your journal, walking your dog, making contact with an old friend, taking a walk, making a phone call.  Whatever it may be make sure that you set goals that are easy enough to do without making you feel overwhelmed.  This is difficult to do as every day is quite the struggle for me, but I think that giving myself a plan every day will help me recover.  I was never the kind of person who wrote anything down or used a planner, but I've found that writing down everything down from the moment I wake up and pray to the time I take my medicine and go to bed holds me accountable for my actions and also lends credibility to the notion that I am really here and existing as a part of the world and my environment.  Recovering from this disorder will not be an all or nothing thing as far as one moment you feel it and the next you don't.  But taking small steps and then celebrating the accomplishments are helping me dig my way out of this problem.  I don't think recovery is an insurmountable goal even if this is the most difficult thing I have ever had to face.  I think that recovery does take action though and as my therapist said to me early on when I shared these symptoms, "the answers to recovery and everything you need lies inside of you."